” When I look back, I realize that for most of my life I had the Cart before the horse. I thought I could persuade God to love me if i Obeyed him enough and did enough good things. Now I understand that grace doesn’t cancel our duty to obey him, but accepting his unconditional sacrifice gives our obedience a new basis of operation. The law of God is no longer just an external set of rules but a law that sets us free.
The Joyful truth is that I have been set free to obey God! Now i can joyfully carry out his plan because I have been accepted as God’s Child and he has given me the power of his Holy Spirit to overcome, even in difficult times. I spent so many years working hard to be perfect. But I couldn’t do it. What freedom to discover that I could turn the reins of my life over to God, and that it is now his job to perfect me from the inside out!
Why is it that we women, in particular, fall so easily into this kind of deception about our relationship with God? That we have to work to present ourselves as acceptable to those arounds us, including our heavenly Father? Perhaps, it’s because we have such a desire to be needed. And we spend much of our lives focusing on others and giving so much to them that we lose our own focus in the process. With that mind-set it’s easy to count on the person who needs us to be the person who also affirms us. I’ve learned the hard way, through a long life journey, that God is the only one who can truly affirm us. After all, he’s the one who created us and designed a plan for our lives in the first place! “
- Betty Robison
Today as I was reading my Bible and Doing my Devotion this was the excerpt that my devotional book fell open to. I couldn’t have needed it more. For about a month now i have wrestled with Knowing and listening to the Holy Spirit and justifying it away by chalking it up to emotions, self preservation, and/or good ol hormones 
…..Funny thing is I could save myself from a lot of sleepless nights if I would just listen to Him the first time he speaks instead of waiting till he either screams in my ear or I fall on my face. This last week I went on a missions trip with my church High school group to the inter city of Fresno. My prayer going into the week was that God would give me clarity and that i would connect to him in a way that I hadn’t be able to in a while. Well my prayer was answered ten times over…yeah he’s that good …….The thing is not only did i get the clarity that i had wanted almost in an audible voice from God but I also realized the things I needed to prune out of my life in order to connect to God again in the way i so desperately craved. As great as this was..it really sucked because there were somethings I just didn’t want to get rid of. I struggled with this all week which was exhausting….once i got home I had so much anxiety knowing just what i had to do in all areas of my life and not wanting to do them. Somethings have already been removed these things some by my own doing in Faith and some having been done by the Holy Spirit intervening because i didn’t have the strength or the Faith but Thank the Lord he cared enough to intervene…. and somethings have yet to be removed but are well on there way. The thing is I have learned in the last week and a half have been nothing like i have ever learned. Pruning sucks yes but it is so refreshing at the same time. My intimacy with the Lord has already increased intensely. I learned that the feeling I get when the Holy Spirit is telling me something is not emotions etc and to listen and obey …first because it saves a lot of drama and most importantly interference with my relationship with God and second He knows whats best always for us! My Faith Has increased tremendously and i am now even more before empowered by the Holy Spirit and confident in knowing where my identity lies and knowing that He only wants whats best for me. I have been encouraged by Philippians 3:8 which says “Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ. “ so my friends the point to this jumbled heart pouring put onto blog paper 
is this
” 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
6 Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.”Proverbs 3:5-6
May you be blessed…
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